so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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