Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
