cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
