It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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