Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
