I wish I could teleport
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
