The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
