No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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