it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
