dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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