Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
