I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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