He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
4 words: hood of his car
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
