it hurts more in the daytime
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Houston, we have a squirter
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
