can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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