I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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