don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
