she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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