i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize