i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize