i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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