Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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