So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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