is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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