I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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