weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
