Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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