have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
