hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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