i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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