Swine flu. Run for my life!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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