Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
