I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
