just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
