forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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