and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
