i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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