i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
