My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
