i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
