census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
