he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
