Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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