Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
