i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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