I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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