We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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