Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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