At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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