the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize