It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
