She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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