she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it's like iHOP with fire
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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