I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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