I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
