porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
