I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize