the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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