I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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