I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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