Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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