Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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