Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
