If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize