I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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